update

I have an update on my cousin. She had the surgery and everything went well. Last I heard she was in ICU recovering. The doctor's say that she will be fine. Thank you everyone for praying.

pray

I need everyone to pray for something. My cousin has chrones disease. She was in alot of pain so she was taken to the hospital where they discovered that her bowel had burst. She is scheduled for surgery tomorrow morning. Just pray that she will be okay and that surgery will go well. Also pray for her parents and sister....that they will be okay as well.

rewind

It seems like just yesterday was the first time that I met you. Since then so much has changed, but I'm still the same as I was before. Now that I know what's going on I can look back and see you. I made you wait as I turned away. If I could rewind and watch all my life just pass me by I would see you. If I could rewind I'd take back the lies and all of those time I hurt you. I don't know if I'll ever know how much I hurt you. Knowing that hurts me everyday. If I could rewind I would take it away and not make you wait. I wouldn't walk away. I wanna take back all those lies. I wanna take back all those times. I wanna show you with my life that I'm here for you.
-Pillar (with modifications)

smile

Last night was one of the best times I've ever had at street church. The quote of the evening:
"I haven't smiled this much in a long time. My cheeks hurt."
We danced for about two hours with barely even a break. I love to see new people come and really get into it. It was an amazing time.
Then we went to Tim Hortons for a couple of hours. We had napkin wars (don't ask). We sure made a big mess but then ended up cleaning it up. I guess we wanted them to let us come back next time :-)

Canadian Idol

I had quite the adventure yesterday. My sister and brother decided they wanted to try out for Canadian Idol, not really expecting much....just to see what it was like....and hey, you never know. I went along with them not knowing whether or not I was going to try out. We left the house at 4am and drove to Surrey. From there we took the skytrain to the Plaza of Nations. We got there at about 5:30. We waited outside in the freezing cold for four hours. My feet were numb....but it was still fun. Shane and Elayna (two of last year's idols) did a concert for us. Ben Mulroney was there....and he looks just as fake in real life. Nice guy though. After a few hours of being outside they said they were going to let the singers in but they didn't have room for anyone else quite yet. So I decided that I was going to be a singer. We were herded inside (like cattle) and given numbers that we had to wear pinned to our tummies. We all sat squished in this gym for hours and hours waiting for our audition time. It was quite boring but a lot of fun. I had my audition at about 3. My sister was right after me and then my brother was right after her. I was really nervous....even though I didn't really care whether or not I made it. Well, I didn't make it....I was so nervous that my voice was all shakey and stuff. We also had to sing acapello....I like singing with instruments to back me up. When that was done I waited for my sister. She came out and said that she didn't make it either. We sat and waited for my brother. Waited.....and waited....and waited. Finally I saw him come around the corner with that yellow piece of paper in his hands. I screamed....I was so happy that he made it. He's at the second set of auditions today....if he gets through that he goes to the auditions in front of the celebrity judges (the one's they show on TV)....and then if he gets through that he's off to Toronto in a couple of months. Is that not so cool! So I had a lot of fun....even though it was super boring....it was a neat experience. One I will never forget. Some of my friends who are amazing singers didn't get past the first round....I guess they're looking for something inparticular.

oasis

Just a little exerpt from a story I read by Kim Meedler

I was completely overwhelmed as I slid off Firefly's back and walked through the sooty black powder. My tears broke through my emotional dam in an uncontrollable flood. This was my special place, my healing chamber, my home. Now it was destroyed beyond recognition. "Dear Jesus, this is just like my life," I sobbed.
The puffy, black, soot billowed up nearly to my waist. Firefly and I had began walking a while when my racking sobs finally subsided into silent tears that streamed down my face. And then I saw it. In the vast expanse of black one tiny oasis of color survived. I moved closer and knelt down to inspect this tiny pink wonder. A little plant had risen through the ash and, defying all odds, dared to bloom in this world of black. Then I heard within my heart the unmistakable voice of the One who had knelt beside me so many years before. "You are right, child - this is just like your life. You see, I have raised you out of the ashes."

This story is about a young girl who lost her mother and father to murder and suicide. Her only comfort was riding through the forest near her grandmother's house on her horse. When the forest burns down she is overwhelmed by grief one more time.

As I read the words of this story it struck me that God can do anything. No matter how helpless your situation may be He will raise you from the ashes - when you let Him.

yahoo

Yeah for Shannon! She got accepted into school. I'm so happy for her. By the end of the year she will be a certified vet assistant. All that percerverance paid off girl! Anyway, I just had to write about it.
Now I just have to get into nursing school. I don't care where, I just want to go. Everything is falling into place so far. I guess I just have to wait and see. But I hate the waiting!!!! Aaaaaaah!

kids

I was having the most interesting conversation with a four year old the other day. She decided that I was going to be the kid and she was going to be the babysitter. We were going to switch clothes and shoes. We had quite the good laugh picturing me in her tiny little clothes and her in my bigger ones. I was going to watch TV while she folded the laundry and of course she was going to drive the van. I had quite the time convincing her that there was no way she was going to drive the van. Finally I told her that her legs wouldn't reach the peddals so it wouldn't work. She agreed. It was really cute. It got me thinking about what it would be like to go back to being a little kid. In some ways it would be great. Not a whole lot to worry about....don't have to work for a living, and absolutely no responsibilities. But I don't think I would enjoy it for long. I kinda like making my own decisions and having all the freedom that comes with that. Sure being a kid was great but I wouldn't want to go back....at least not permanently.

Bailey

Today was a snow day for me....no work and no school. My brother and I went, with our dog Bailey, to Griner Park. We have these crazy carpets and we can get going pretty fast. Well, there was no way that Bailey would get on the crazy carpets but he loved chasing us down the hill and then jumping all over us when we got to the bottom. I guess he was having a lot of fun because when my brother and I went to take him home he got this really pouty look on his face and didn't want a whole lot to do with us. It was really kinda funny.
Last summer a friend and I took our dogs to the lake. Bailey loves to swim!!! Even more than chasing crazy carpets. We were there for a couple of hours and then when we were ready to go it was like Bailey was mad at us. He sat in the back seat and pouted almost the entire ride home.
He's a great dog and I love him to pieces but he's not without his quirks. He hasn't learned yet that male dogs lift a leg to pee....he still squats. Also, when he is confused or afraid or any number of other emotions he pees....all over the floor. And then there is his ball. Anyone who has been over to my house has seen that ball. He will not play with any other toy....just that stupid red ball. Last summer I brought Bailey to church in the park so of course his ball had to come along. When I dropped him off at home both Bailey and I forgot his ball in the car. I headed out to Vancouver for the day with my friends and didn't realize his ball was still in the car. When I got home my parents told me that he had been looking around for his ball all day and then moping and whining when he couldn't find it. So pathetic!

dunno

So the holidays are over and it's back to the same old routine. But I guess if it were the holidays all the time that would get boring too. I really liked having the week or two off of school, work, and pretty much everything else. Now it's time to get to work. But I just can't seem to get motivated right now. I guess I have too much other stuff on my mind. Maybe that will pass soon. I've been thinking about new year's resolutions. I can't really think of one of my own. Maybe it's not that I can't think of one....but all the ones I can think of I don't want to do. Just being lazy maybe. I hate being lazy!!! Aaah...I need to get motivated. It's weird because I am usually very motivated after the new year. But not this year....at least not yet.

quiet

I just got back from the christmas eve service at my church. The house is so quiet...my family isn't home quite yet. I came in the door and my dog greeted me but there was no talking, no singing, no nothing. Something I'm not quite used to but nice just the same. The day has been filled with so much hustle and craziness. Shopping to do....cookies to bake....presents to wrap....and now it's just quiet. For a few more minutes....then my sister will dance in the door and my brothers will come in laughing about something. My parents will follow. We'll hang the stockings, probably make apple cider, and watch a christmas movie. Christmas the way I know it will begin....I like the quiet that is right now....but at the same time I can't wait!

traditions

I've just been thinking about how many christmas traditions my family has....and we don't even have near as many as we used to. Some have died out over the past year or so. One of these is advent. Every night we would shut off all the lights in the house and light the appropriate number of candles on our advent wreath. We read a Bible verse and then we each got to pick a christmas song to sing. My brother would pick Deck the Halls every single night, every single year. We got so sick of it. Now laugh as we look back on it. It was fun. Now we're lucky if we do advent once a week. Everyone is just so busy and it is a rare night that everyone is at home. On christmas eve when we get home from church we always watch The Muppet Christmas Carol. Then we get all of our blankets and drag them into the living room because that is where we sleep. In the morning the first one to wake up wakes everyone else up. We dig into our stockings but we can't open any presents till our parents get up...we can't wake them till 6:00am. Although I'm sure they wake up when we do because we don't exactly try to be quiet. My parents don't put names on our presents....they put a picture or a number. While we are waiting for them to get up we try to figure out the code. I think we've figured it out every year. We have so many more things that we do but I can't think of any right now. I start counting down the days from half way through december but christmas can never come fast enough.

whistler

I went to whistler yesterday with two of my friends. I don't think I've ever had such a lazy day (besides the driving). We didn't have to be anywhere at any time. We just wandered around looking in shops and of course getting lost. I think everytime we needed to find a bathroom it took us half an hour. But it was fun. So relazing. We sat in Starbucks for over an hour just because we didn't have to do anything else. After supper as we were walking back to the car the snow flakes were huge....and it was beautiful. It had been snowing all day but these flakes were just awesome. We were trying to catch them with our tongues. Such a good day...

more snow

IT'S SNOWING!!!!!!!! Just thought I would let everyone know. I just came in from outside. My fingers are so cold I can hardly type. But who cares. IT"S SNOWING!!

some Lord of the Rings

It's all wrong
By rights we shouldn't even be here
But we are
It's like in the great stories
The ones that really mattered
Full of darkness and danger they were
And sometimes you didn't want to know the end
Because how could the end be happy
How could the world go back to the way it was
But in the end it's only a passing thing
Even darkness must pass
And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer
Those where the stories that stayed with you
Even if you were too small to understand why
I think I do understand
The folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn't
They kept going
Because they were holding onto something
That there's some good in this world
And it's worth fighting for

school

I've been thinking about school a lot lately. I want to be a nurse, but then so do many other people. I know it's going to be hard to get into a nursing program without waiting. I'm going to put an application into UCFV because I would like to do it there. It's close and cheap. Two good things. But I've been thinking that I should send my application to other schools as well. I looked at the SFU website and I don't think they have a nursing program. At least I couldn't find it if they do. I do not want to go to UBC. It is way to big for me. As I was looking around different website I came across a school in Kamloops that offers the nursing program I need. I don't really want to move that far away but if I can't get into UCFV and I do get accepted at this Kamloops university I may have no choice. I want to get my schooling finished. I would rather not be sitting on a waiting list for a couple of years. That wouldn't really accomplish a whole lot. I guess we'll see what happens. I'm still just in the thinking and planning stage. But I'm going to need to start applying soon.

snow

I love snow. I always have and I'm pretty sure I always will. Everytime it snows I always remember back to something that happened when I was a lot younger. I think I was about six and my brother four. We were in our room fighting, which was nothing all that unusual. I guess we stopped to catch our breath or something because we heard a droor open in the kitchen. Of course we assumed that since we were fighting it must be the one with the wooden spoon in it. Even though we never got spanked for fighting I guess we didn't think about that. So then we had something new to fight about. "You're going to get a spanking. No, you're going to get a spanking. No you are. NO YOU ARE!!!" Then came the dreaded, "Melody and Luke, come out here." We stopped our fighting and slowly walked out to the kitchen. As we came in my mom looked at us and said, "look guys, it's snowing!" I don't think I'd ever been so relieved in my life.
One of my friends and I always phone eachother every winter at the first sight of snow. She used to live in Matsqui so I would always phone her and brag that we had snow and they didn't. I think she is the only other person I know who loves snow as much as I do.
One year I was out doing work experience when it started to snow. I was with a lady who hated the snow which kind of put a damper on it but I was so excited I didn't really care.
And then there was the time when I was with one of the little girls that I babysit. This time it was spring and there was a lot of pollen floating in the air. She looked up at the sky and with a huge smile on her face said, "it's snowing!" I thought that was kind of cute.
I guess maybe one of the reasons I love snow so much is that it brings back so many good memories. I used to live in Ontario and so for a good quarter of the year snow was my life. I remember getting all dressed up in warm clothes and sliding down the patio stairs on our sled. I remember my brother and I making a snow slide and not letting anyone else on it. I remember the fancy patterns the ice used to make on the insides of our windows. I also remember the time I licked an icicle and my tongue got stuck to it. I was so suprised I just ripped it off. That's maybe not such a good memory but it makes me laugh. Anyway, enough on the snow. I could go on forever...

life

I haven't written anything in a while. It's not that there is nothing going on....that is far from the truth. I just don't want to blog about it. I am having a problem with understanding one of my friends. She is kind of upset about something and I don't know what to do because I don't think I did anything wrong. It still bothers me though because I hate to see her upset. And then of course some of my other friends get dragged into it (it has to do with them as well) and it becomes this big problem. Maybe eventually things will settle down and everything will become okay again....maybe one day life will return to normal. But I don't think so. I was talking with a friend the other day and she asked me if I thought life would ever go back to the way it was. I said no it wouldn't....too much has happened....we've all changed...but it can become good. Actually, life is good right now....just hard.

change

I was talking with one of my best friends yesterday and she said that I have changed a lot lately. I asked her how and she said she didn't know.....but if she figured it out she'd let me know. I was kind of worried so I asked if it was a bad change....apparently not. Anyway, then I went out with another friend and I asked him if he had noticed a change in me. He said not really. But then after sitting and thinking about it for a while he said that lately I have gotten more of a backbone. I guess I stand up for myself more or something. I guess that's just one more thing that I've adopted into my personality in order to cope better. I don't think it's a bad thing though. It's important to be able to stand up for yourself. Now that I think about it, I never used to be able to. Maybe in a few ways I'm finally growing up.....taking care of myself.....not getting others to do it for me.

changing oil

I changed the oil in my car today. My dad just told me what to do and I did it. Not only was it cold, but it was also raining and nearly dark. I'm quite proud of myself, even though I did get oil all over the driveway. I just decided I needed to learn to do some things on my own. It was actually just kind of fun. Anyway, I guess I just thought I'd brag a bit.