I was having a really good talk with a friend the other day. I was telling him that I couldn't believe how stupid I have been in the past. He told me that I can't beat myself up over this forever. That stuck with me. Am I just beating myself up? I know I have made mistakes and now because of it I really can't trust myself. What if I, once again, think I am making a right decision and it turns out to be wrong. I'm so scared. Is this a forgiveness issue? Should I just forgive myself for screwing up and move on.....but then I still have the same trust issue. I just don't trust myself. One day I will be faced with another major decision and what if I won't be able to make it. I'm kind of confused.....actually I'm really confused. I don't even really know what I'm thinking. Some days I think I have everything figured out.....but I don't. I know I don't. I'm just a scared little girl.....
Sunday, September 26, 2004
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3 comments:
How do you learn stuff? People teach you or you experience something to teach yourself. You will never know unless you try. Sometimes it seems like we are always paying a price for a decision we make. Parents often try and protect their children from doing what they did while they were kids. but in the end, the kids try to learn themselves. You will never be fully prepared for what you will encounter. Uncertainty I think is just another word for self doubt. You double guess what you think is the right thing to do without asking for gods help. Sometimes it may seem like you don't have an answer, but no matter what he is there to be your strength in good or bad.
Just grow in truth and the knowledge of God. He will direct you and you will know how to make wise decisions. Recognize your motivations for past decisions that were not good ones. You are very courageous and I see that God is honoring you for your faithfulness. Trust Him.
hang in there mel. keep walking along the journey. you are learning and growing, learn what you can from the past and then move on to new adventures. God will bless you.
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